{"id":17108,"date":"2022-04-29T21:41:43","date_gmt":"2022-04-29T21:41:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gardenersnet.com\/?page_id=17108"},"modified":"2022-04-29T21:41:43","modified_gmt":"2022-04-29T21:41:43","slug":"lawn","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.gardenersnet.com\/fun\/lawn.htm","title":{"rendered":"Fun Heavenly Lawns"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"17108\" class=\"elementor elementor-17108\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-23801d02 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"23801d02\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5dfc3f76 elementor-invisible\" data-id=\"5dfc3f76\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;animation&quot;:&quot;fadeInLeft&quot;,&quot;animation_delay&quot;:200}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8e8f171 elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"8e8f171\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<script type=\"text\/javascript\"><!--\r\n    e9 = new Object();\r\n    e9.size = \"728x90\";\r\n\/\/--><\/script>\r\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"\/\/tags.expo9.exponential.com\/tags\/gardenersnet\/ros\/tags.js\"><\/script>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-c6848ee elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"c6848ee\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-c2aeea0 elementor-invisible\" data-id=\"c2aeea0\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;animation&quot;:&quot;fadeInLeft&quot;,&quot;animation_delay&quot;:200}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b370f3e elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"b370f3e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.10.0 - 09-01-2023 *\/\n.elementor-heading-title{padding:0;margin:0;line-height:1}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title[class*=elementor-size-]>a{color:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-small{font-size:15px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-medium{font-size:19px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-large{font-size:29px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xl{font-size:39px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xxl{font-size:59px}<\/style><h1 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Heavenly Lawns<\/h1>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-70f5035 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"70f5035\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-06a09a9\" data-id=\"06a09a9\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-82ac87e elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"82ac87e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.10.0 - 09-01-2023 *\/\n.elementor-widget-image{text-align:center}.elementor-widget-image a{display:inline-block}.elementor-widget-image a img[src$=\".svg\"]{width:48px}.elementor-widget-image img{vertical-align:middle;display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"667\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/www.gardenersnet.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/lawn-01.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-17101\" alt=\"Lawn Grass\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.gardenersnet.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/lawn-01.jpg 667w, https:\/\/www.gardenersnet.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/lawn-01-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 667px) 100vw, 667px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7e554ab elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7e554ab\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-8820b23\" data-id=\"8820b23\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-86f322e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"86f322e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.10.0 - 09-01-2023 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#818a91;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#818a91;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p>One heavenly spring morning, God got into a conversation with St. Francis about lawns. The conversation went something like this&#8230;&#8230;.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>GOD:<\/b> St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle, and the other stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. I created plants that grow in any type of soil, withstand drought, and multiply like crazy. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees, and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see down there is a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>ST. FRANCIS:<\/b> It&#8217;s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers weeds and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>GOD:<\/b> Grass? But it&#8217;s so boring. It&#8217;s not colorful. It doesn&#8217;t attract butterflies, birds, and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It&#8217;s temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>ST. FRANCIS:\u00a0<\/b>Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing their grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up on the lawn.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>GOD:\u00a0<\/b>The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>ST. FRANCIS:<\/b>\u00a0Lord, I&#8217;m afraid not. As soon as the grass grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>GOD:<\/b>\u00a0They cut it?! Do they then bale it like hay?<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>ST. FRANCIS:\u00a0<\/b>Well, not exactly Lord. Most &#8220;Suburbanites&#8221; rake it up and put it in bags.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>GOD:\u00a0<\/b>They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>ST. FRANCIS:<\/b>\u00a0No, sir &#8212; just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>GOD:\u00a0<\/b>Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>ST. FRANCIS:<\/b>\u00a0Yes, sir.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>GOD:\u00a0<\/b>These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>ST. FRANCIS:<\/b> Lord, you&#8217;re not\u00a0going to believe this. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>GOD:\u00a0<\/b>What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It&#8217;s a natural circle of life.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>ST. FRANCIS:<\/b> You&#8217;d better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into huge piles and pay to have them hauled away, too.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>GOD:\u00a0<\/b>No way!! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>ST. FRANCIS:<\/b>\u00a0After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>GOD:<\/b>\u00a0And where do they get this mulch?<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>ST. FRANCIS:<\/b>\u00a0They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>GOD:<\/b>\u00a0Enough! I don&#8217;t want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you&#8217;re in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>ST. CATHERINE:\u00a0<\/b>Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It&#8217;s a real stupid movie about&#8230;&#8230;..<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><b>GOD:<\/b>\u00a0Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><i>&#8230;.Author Unknown<\/i><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-590c2a9 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"590c2a9\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-449b977\" data-id=\"449b977\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-664a2af elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"664a2af\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p align=\"Left\">Please contribute a fact or tidbit\u00a0<a href=\"mailto:gardener@gardenersnet.com\"><big><b>Contribute garden humor or trivia<\/b><\/big><\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1e297e4 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1e297e4\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-f61ed60\" data-id=\"f61ed60\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-83e510d elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"83e510d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Related Articles<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-c60d7f6 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"c60d7f6\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-58d4703\" data-id=\"58d4703\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7b0cb9c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7b0cb9c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p align=\"Left\">Also, people who read this article will like:<\/p><p align=\"Left\"><a href=\"http:\/\/gardenhobbies.com\/celebrate.html\">Garden Holidays<\/a><\/p><p align=\"Left\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gardenersnet.com\/fun.htm\">More Fun Garden Humor<\/a><\/p><p align=\"Left\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gardenersnet.com\/lawn\/\">About Lawncare<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-babde1c elementor-section-boxed 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